I puked a lego.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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