1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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