Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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