I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
