dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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