It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
