Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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