return my video game
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
