dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize