she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
