When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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