There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
