Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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