Me. At least after what I've been through.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
