I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
