so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
