i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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