One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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