is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
