I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
