Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
