I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
NoShamevember. You game?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
