i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
