I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
