How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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