Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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