there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
