You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
where am i from again
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Randomize
