I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
