I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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