I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
