Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
