you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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