Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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