Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize