She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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