Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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