Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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