Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize