he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize