Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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