It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize