in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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