Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
