Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
