I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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