absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
