best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
