They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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