I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
