Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
