So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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