and she was petting her beer can
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
