dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
