They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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