so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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