Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
