I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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