guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
