He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
