I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Still dying that you shit outside
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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