I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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