Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
wow bdsm is so cute
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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