tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
