i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize