I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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