They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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