I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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