Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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